I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
