everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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