the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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