some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
