The maid of honor just puked.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
