just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
