yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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