There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
