The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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