It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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