Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
