Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13864) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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  (716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3181) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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  (815): I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating http://tfl.nu/k15b
  Replies (30) Good night (1128) Bad night (7035)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him

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  (562): he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him http://tfl.nu/6w3v
  Replies (8) Good night (3149) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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  (818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv
  Replies (15) Good night (2605) Bad night (4364)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.

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  (719): getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week. http://tfl.nu/rliz
  Replies (1) Good night (1923) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for

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  (902): hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for http://tfl.nu/9vcr
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (2161)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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  (941): I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh. http://tfl.nu/0uja
  Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (1995)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

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  (586): Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country. http://tfl.nu/f3mx
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.

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  (661): How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents. http://tfl.nu/nsw6
  Replies (17) Good night (626) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have

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  (215): You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have http://tfl.nu/bm9z
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (1544)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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  (970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.

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  (563): Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up. http://tfl.nu/xba5
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.

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  (650): I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood. http://tfl.nu/ls7g
  Replies (5) Good night (1147) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.

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  (904): Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool. http://tfl.nu/cjt9
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (358)

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