i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
