Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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  (417): I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride http://tfl.nu/qcn3
  Replies (6) Good night (625) Bad night (2656)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"

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  (570): my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth" http://tfl.nu/khrw
  Replies (19) Good night (3482) Bad night (946)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This house was built for laser tag.

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  (336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag
  Replies (14) Good night (9027) Bad night (710)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.

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  (614): just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good. http://tfl.nu/28dw
  Replies (16) Good night (5136) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

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  (330): When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward... http://tfl.nu/3xfe
  Replies (36) Good night (1372) Bad night (9341)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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  (505): the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears http://tfl.nu/h30c
  Replies (21) Good night (7366) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

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  (617): There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic http://tfl.nu/g9j9
  Replies (4) Good night (1424) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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  (587): My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween http://tfl.nu/z2rb
  Replies (15) Good night (3339) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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  (+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q
  Replies (5) Good night (1613) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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  (859): Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay http://tfl.nu/mr5s
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"

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  (949): You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker" http://tfl.nu/29yd
  Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl

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  (520): my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl http://tfl.nu/kolr
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.

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  (423): I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time. http://tfl.nu/nl7k
  Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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  (908): I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/8q70
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (476)

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