Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
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This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear