You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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