And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed