If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
