That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
