Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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