Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
