So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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