its not stalking. its research.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
