Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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