we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
