On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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