Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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