She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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