we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
