Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
