didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Panties = found
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
