So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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