He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
