Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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