My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
