This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
