he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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