it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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