is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
