Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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