You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
