you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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