I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Randomize
