This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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