Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
