hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
