your parents love me but you hate me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize