i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
