If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
