I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
