I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
