Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think my moral compass just broke
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