I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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