Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
