Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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