I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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