The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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