we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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