i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
