just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize