I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just gargled with NyQuil
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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