i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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