you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
