There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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